Large Print Edition (Delia~!) @drolltergeist@meemu.org

portrait commissions are finally underway! I'm a furry but i love drawing humans too. these portraits would be perfect for your tabletop RPG character or fictional muse, or even just some fanart!

I'm gonna be charging:

$20 for a lineart drawing without color
$25 for colors & shading
$30 for a full-body piece

if you want something more elaborate than that, let me know and we can work out a price for it!

Attached, you can look at some recent artwork i've made!

I'm starting with The Lurking Horror, a classic cosmic horror game, but I've also gotten my grubby hooves on Zork I, II, and III, and a sci-fi game I've never heard of called Starcross

discovered this because i'm trying out a couple of old Infocom adventure games and the C64 versions are a snap to run with VICE rather than trying to track down the MS-DOS versions and muck around with DOSBox

that's so clever!!

VICE, the Commodore 64 emulator of choice for those in the know, has a really cool feature i just found out--if you right click on the emulated screen, it'll paste any text you have copied from outside the emulator!

these last few chapters have been so difficult to write. they delved into some pretty dark stuff and stayed there for a while. I'm more or less happy with their rough form, at least enough to push on to lighter fare for a little bit

I used to say I had no poetry in my soul. now I understand that mental illness and dysphoria have been starving my own emotional capacity far below that of normal people and I'm frankly sick of it.

all of the coolest writers I know are soulful prose poets, but I can't bear their work because in my heart I'm always thinking "no one feels this deeply about anything. jesus, calm down about yourself"

so tl;dr, I can't wait until I'm on hrt and it allows me to have feelings other than dull anger and resentment so maybe I can feel poetry without sneering

that embarrassed distaste goes double for any scene trying to imply deep symbolic meaning and emotion to any sexual act. I try to read and my eyes just start roving to find the end of the passage and I know that's not normal.

for example I realized my ideal writing style is heavily sensory (talking at length about color, sound, smell etc.) but emotionally detached and understated.

it's not because emotionally charged writing is bad, but because I'm repressed and have been for so long, the idea that someone could react to a situation with a strong outpouring of emotions feels contrived and embarrasses me to read it.

I think it's interesting to look at the kind of writing you like versus the kind you don't and try to understand why you feel that way

i think i may have finished the 19th (!) chapter of the book just now

ah weel

i don't know what it's called or any of the lyrics. it was in a song playlist that the app CHANGED THE SONGS ON as i was scrolling back to find it

oh no i listened to too much music trying to find a song on spotify we heard in the car like two days ago and i can't fucking find it!!