reaux @reaux@meemu.org

Hi! I’m Reaux, a 36 year old furry who lives in Delaware and works in IT! I live with my wife Tegan and our pets: two dogs (Pretzel, who is a pit mix, and Teddy, who is a Cavalier King Charles spaniel), three cats (Cricket, Pickles, and Birdie), and other small creatures (leopard gecko, snake, tarantulas).

We are poly and my other partner is Echo, who also lives in Delaware! Tegan’s other partner is Shadii, who lives in Maryland.

I draw a lot and I read a lot! Nice to meet you!

I got a new (to me) phone! A galaxy s7. I was on an iPhone before but I was sick of it. Haha

I get home and I’m totally wiped out and take a two or three hour nap. Jiminy Christmas

They have me training the new girl at work which is nice because it means they trust me with a big task but incredibly shitty because it makes every day drag on forever and ever

Strange magic

Beach day last week! :) wildwood nj

Happy July!

I’m going to anthrocon next week! Who else is gonna go? I’m excited because it will be the first AC in years that I haven’t had to help run a table!!! I’ll be freeeeee!

I uhh...forgot about meemu. But then I remembered. Here I am!!!!!!

I got diagnosed as bipolar! I started lithium! It’s been good so far and I feel a lot better. That’s all I guess.

i wanna try pony play. i wanna be a HORSE. but i feel so shy about...everything . i feel like it would be fun and a cool way for me to feel "useful" and that it would also be calming in some kind of way.

tiny victory: faxed my leave paperwork to the psych office. also printed my W2 so i can finally file my taxes

on this instance, we hail satan

so! while frightening and overwhelming and stuff, mostly i am feeling very hopeful and positive. i don't care what they diagnose me with as long as having that label gives me access to treatment so i can live a normal life.

he tweaked my other meds too - higher klonopin twice a day, stuff like that. which makes me nervous because i know it's habit-forming and i don't want to run out (because i am awful at getting refills on time) and have a seizure or something, but i just gotta do better and stay on top of things

he is starting me on lithium. i have taken mood stabilizers before but i couldn't remember which, and i don't know why he picked that one, but whatever. he also asked if i'd be willing to do TMS, which i asked what that was - it's kind of like electro shock therapy but it uses magnets. it's a last resort for people like me, haha. i said yes, i'll try anything, i just want to be better. so we'll see if it comes to that or not

the past few days have been really rough for me. friday i left work early in the midst of a panic attack. at home i felt unable to do the most basic tasks. leaving the house was pretty terrifying. i had an appointment yesterday with my psychiatrist and while the appointment itself was scary and i spent most of it crying, i think it was productive. he suspects i am bipolar, which i have been diagnosed with in the past but then un-diagnosed, i guess

i'm really anxious today. it started while driving tegan to work and grew from there. for a little bit this morning i felt like i was gonna puke and spent time sitting in the bathroom. i still feel super tense but i think it's getting better. i wish i could go home.